For being an easy few days, it’s been a rough few days. I look forward to “down-time” after busy periods, but then the transition often gets to me. Post show depression, I call it, because when I freelanced it used to happen after each big show. The irony is that the summer so far, the combination of Vic/Lit class and tutoring gig, hasn’t seemed like enough of a show to get depressed after…but there you have it. It’s kind of a weird feeling, and I sometimes think I can outrun it, if I just stay around other people…and it does work, as far as that goes, but then I’ve got to face the fact that I can’t organize fun and games 24/7– although I can usually spend a couple days trying. Paul has been gone sixteen hours a day for weeks now, and this doesn’t make it easier.
Looking at the positive aspects, once the paralyzing ennui phase comes to an end, I have a period of time where I am depressed but functional, and this time can be quite productive. When better to go through piles of unsent insurance claims, completely messed up school loans, and other bills of mysterious origin? Who better to vent my negativity on than the automated customer service at each institution? And sitting on hold is not unlike meditating, really –Isn’t there a mudra where you hold a receiver to one ear, breath a certain number of times, and then switch ears?