Periodically I go through a phase where I feel completely out of control of everything. Like I can’t wrap my head around any single aspect of life: Not finances, not career, not our household, not our marriage. Normally these things pretty much just float in the atmosphere above my head, and I guess through some miracle of the jet stream, they never drift completely away. When I get periodically anxious and worried however, it becomes very important to me to pin things down, or barring that, maybe just tether the floating things so their presence feels more solid. And this is when it becomes apparent how unkempt, un-pruned, uncategorized, un-organized everything in my life is. I want to fix all these things, and WOE, anger and resentment unto any person nearby who doesn’t feel the need to fix them too. That would be Paul.
Maintaining a long distance relationship even though we share a residence, courtesy of the “industry standard” hours kept at the film school, and the demands of my own schedule has not helped either. Our summer semesters are over tomorrow. The appointment with a counselor is scheduled for Tuesday. Hopefully she can suggest some new strategies to get us through one more year. Fall semester starts the last week of August.