T P Smackdown

So tonight as I walked into Miller’s Alehouse to meet a friend I was talking to Paul on the phone. “We need to get toilet paper,” he said. I knew this, I had said the same thing to him this morning, hoping he would go buy some during the day. I had no desire to go out of my way and make a stop when it was 35 degrees outside at 11pm, so on my way out of Miller’s, I stopped in the restroom and helped myself to several yards of two-ply.

Upon my arrival home, Paul asked, “Did you get toilet paper?”

“Sure,” I replied and proudly pulled my wadded stash from my purse.
“No!” he shouted, “That will not do?”
“Why not?”
“Because we are not BARBARIANS!”
“What’s wrong? It’s not used.”
“Oh man,” he said, pulling on his jacket. “Now I’ve got to go get some.”
“Can you pick up some..”
“How ’bout if I go too?”
“Yeah, okay.”

When we got home from the grocery store I went upstairs to the bathroom.
We totally had enough paper on the roll to last ’til tomorrow.

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