The Starting Line-Up: 1

It’s fall. There’s a lot going on, so much so that I probably have no business blogging, but you know what? I like my blog and it’s been kind of sucking lately, so maybe I’ll just call it part of my starting line up, too…

So here’s what I have on deck…Four different screenplays:

One is for my rewrite class. I started it a million years ago, and now I’m supposed to learn how to make it better. It’s a high-school romantic comedy–with invisible people. (Just in case you ever see it.) I’m a little bit behind already, so it’s good but it makes me a little anxious.

Two is for my thesis class, and will either be a psychological thriller with sci-fi elements (alien babies!) or a comedy having to do with pole-dancing. I have to decide by Monday. It’s a somewhat big decision as thesis is the project you work on for an entire year, and your degree is based on it…plus you just want to pick something that won’t suck and that will help catalyze your entire career. So this also makes me a little anxious.

Three is the zombie script I mentioned in an earlier post. It’s Paul’s story, but I am now the official “second writer” on the script. Exciting! I’m a little less anxious, because Paul has a calming effect on me…but still, I have some time issues and I don’t want to let him down after hard-bargaining for the position, so…little anxious.

Four is an adaptation of a Vietnamese novel that I will be co-writing with two other women. They both speak Vietnamese and can read the novel…I cannot, but will be working from an outline. It’s a kind of ghost-story-slash-psychological thriller. The deadline coincides with the first draft of my thesis. I’m a little anxious about that too.

But…happy. These are all projects that I like and think could be really good. I’m only anxious that they won’t. So, happiness and anxiety seem to go hand in hand for me. I remember reading once that sometimes women date scary guys because they would mistake a fear reaction for desire or excitement. Apparently a number of people have problems distinguishing excitement from fear. And since “anxious” for me, seems pretty fear-based, maybe I’m actually excited! Woo-hoo! I’m excited!

But I still am not too fond of excited. Which is why a return to my meditation practice is also on my starting line-up for fall.

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