Great Idea, Flawed Execution

I saw this online and ordered it from Target.  53162450Super-cute right?

But I didn’t look closely and I made some assumptions. Like I figured those straps probably had a hidden snap or button.

Or I figured that there might be a zipper on the side.

It didn’t occur to me that they would have would have sash on the front and…

53162450_Alt01Yup, that’s a back zipper.

Totally practical if you have a “jumper buddy” to go with you to the bathroom and help you with the zipper every time you have to go. Otherwise, not so much. The zipper is high -I can’t reach top in order to pull it down — or back up.

I get it — it’s easy to get so excited about an idea that you don’t entirely test it before you send it out into the world. Focus groups are tedious — so many busy-bodies wanting you to make changes. Maybe I’m just not the right demographic — there might be some more limber-bodied folks out there who can totally make this work.

I, however, had to return it.

Jon Ronson and Jeff Simmermon

You know how on the podcast Scriptnotes, at the end of the main conversation, the hosts each share One Cool Thing? An app, a game, a book that is striking their fancy.

I currently have One Cool Thing X 2 — in other words, two cool things.

One is the book Lost at Sea by Jon Ronson.

The other is this story told by Jeff Simmeron at The Moth, heard by me on the radio on the way back from the gym, which also exists on video:

“sad King Arthur,” “pinballing,” “patina of sheer rage.”  So good.

Technical Exercise and Random Thoughts

I just watched a minute-long video about how to embed a photo from Instagram, and here is my photo.

 

The beach is a pretty common Instagram-type photo subject, though probably slightly less common than cute animals and food. I’m not a very industrious or creative Instagrammer.

I went to the beach to breathe in and out and not think too much about the future, but ironically, this photo, to me, feels like looking down a “road” with the future rushing at you, in the form of roiling clouds.

I’m thinking about the future these days. And the past. Probably because I’ve been writing a lot of “personal statements” for applications that ask me to describe life experiences that have shaped my worldview and made me utterly unique and invaluable to a writers room or workshop or the human race — in 500 words or less. The process of sorting through all my experiences in the search for meaning and uniqueness  makes me both philosophical and morose.

In other news, I thought there was a marching band practicing outside my window, and a couple having an argument on the street, but now I realize it’s all coming from the neighbor’s television, which has powerful speakers. As does our television, since a friend just gave us his old surround-sound set up. Truthfully, I hate both our and our neighbor’s excellent sound quality. It’s too much. It’s the audio equivalent to those super-bright car headlights that increase the driver’s ability to see ahead, but blinds everyone else.

Writing Tip: Record Your Notes Sessions

Getting notes on a script can feel either “good” or “bad.”

“Bad” is when you are hoping for accolades, for someone to tell you it’s really close, and instead you hear that things aren’t working for the reader, they don’t understand things you thought were clear, and they have thoughts — a lot of thoughts!  In the cartoon version of your life that’s happening inside your head it’s a literal truckload of notes dumped on top of you. It’s overwhelming and it’s heavy. Like this picture — but with NOTES instead of money!

A truck dumping a load of money

It’s like this, but with notes instead of money!

“Good” is when you  know there’s some problems with your script, but by some stroke of luck, you have some folks who like it anyway because they see its potential, and hopefully they are a little bit smarter than you–or smart in different ways–and they say things that they think which makes you think things that you say and then everyone is very excited about where this can go. And while you’re all talking you start to “see” it. It’s like the visual version of having a word on the tip of your tongue — it’s not there yet, but it’s totally within your grasp and probably as soon as you get off the phone it will no doubt arrived fully formed. This is fun!

After a notes call you hang up the phone,with a sense of accomplishment — either because you’ve withstood the deluge without crying, or because you’ve held your own in a great conversation! Either way you clearly deserve to decompress by staring vacantly into the fridge for a full minute and maybe taking a stick of wrapped cheese and then wandering the apartment vaguely looking for the water glass you set down before giving up and getting a new one.

Then it’s time to get to work! You return to your computer, pumped to make this next draft the Great American Script…  and realize that the whole conversation you just had is a blur.

You don’t panic. You close your eyes and think: A few moments from the conversation come back, but now you aren’t entirely sure if you and the other person were talking about the same thing.  You remember thinking thoughts that were so profound you knew you’d never forget them, but you’ve forgotten what they were.

Shit.

Check your notebook see that you’ve got a few half sentences written down, like
“she should tell him that…” or
“maybe an element of betrayal”.

Double shit.

But wait! Now you look in the upper left corner of your computer screen, see the little Quicktime audible file and remember that you recorded the whole thing. Probably, it’s STILL recording, because you forgot you were recording. So you turn it off. You NAME the file with the project and date.

Screen Shot 2018-03-16 at 1.54.06 PM

This is great! You don’t have to admit to someone that you forgot everything they said! Plus, now you can transcribe the conversation, which at a 3-1 ratio could take three hours. Three hours of typing without having to solve any problems. Hallelujah.

And while you’re listening and typing, not only will you remember what you talked about,  but you’ll hear a bunch of stuff that you missed. Stuff people said while you were processing what somebody said before that. Tossed-off comments you thought were jokes, but now realize could be the key!

Re-listening to the notes will also help you process your emotions. However you felt during the call — good or bad — listening again will make you feel less so. If you felt good — hearing yourself talk will make you feel less brilliant, for sure. But if it was bad, you might find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. And putting it on paper will give you some distance, which — at least for me — is a better, more sustainable place from which to start a re-write.

Life Hack for Colds

This cold has been going around, and I caught it. Lots of coughing and congestion, the miserable usual. Without getting too graphic, I’ll say that we got a multipack of tissue boxes at Costco not so long ago, and by day ten of this cold, I’d single-handedly used all but one box.

My nose and upper lip were red and chapped and I dreaded the touch of even the softest tissue. This is when our roommate mentioned her runny-nose life hack. “When I’m hiking in the mountains and it’s cold, my nose runs…” (The difference between us is that she’s a bad-ass who hikes in the mountains, I’m a fragile flower who types on my laptop in bed and accidentally holds my breath when I’m trying to think of the right word.) “… I’ve found it really helps if I put chapstick around my nose.”

I tried it, folks. She’s right! It works!