Moving On

Well, the thing we hoped would happen didn’t happen.  Paul and I, based on a script we’d worked on together had made it to the final stage of a fellowship program, but in the end, were not among the final selectees.

I think I was more worried about his one because it included him, and I’m sadder about the missed opportunity because of him.  Each day I go to work, and though I sometimes resent the say it can interrupt my creative flow, it also gives me a place to forget about the pressure to “make things happen” in a world where it’s very hard to make things happen.  And I’m so lucky that I can keep taking a class each term–that I am given that space to feed my soul, and that motivation to develop as an artist.  I believe that even though I have to constantly balance the two worlds–the literary world where one’s role models might speak in terms of feeding your soul and being an artist, and the industry where they want that passion and authenticity, but ultimately see both as product, and the writer as producer of that product.  That’s the world he lives in all day, everyday, and it changes you.  It changes you if you find success, and it changes you if you don’t.

In any case, we both have applications in the works for other fellowships, the world keeps turning.

I’ve been watching some early David Lynch short films I found at the library.  I had an early fondness for David Lynch, that I find has faded somewhat when I re-watch his work years later.  The shorts are the same. Some are really stimulating.  Some are unwatchable to me now.  But the stimulating ones have given me ideas for new projects–albeit long term ones, since I will have to figure out how to do animation to do them like I want.